Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Take me away.

Just close my eyes. Take me away.

Today is particularly frustrating. I feel as if I am at wits end, and that there may not be light at the end of the tunnel just yet. I think I have too much stress to deal with at this point in my life. There should be an age restriction on stress. Like you cant have a certain amount of stress until 30... it stunts your growth.

Im only 24 and I feel as if I am facing this world all by myself. I walk around today, with a lump in the back of my throat, just supressing the mass amount of sobbing that just wants to push thru. The other morning, I couldn't help myself but start crying... in the shower... And what is weird about crying in the shower is that your dont really feel like your crying, so I just allowed it. I sat down, let the water hit my face and just sobbed. Like a ninny.

Im at the point of not knowing what to do. Im just really sad inside. I feel like I have lost everything all at once, and now im just wandering, trying to find something to grasp on to.

What irritates me, is that with the way things are right now... All these people that got into these crazy ass ARM loans and now are scrambling for help not to loose their house are getting help. What about the renter?? Im about to loose my apartment. Comeon now. Where is my relief?? Im not asking for money, but maybe just let me out of my lease without penalties. Thats not too much to ask for. I need to write my congressman. You should too :)

And have you heard of the "tent cities"? If you haven't, look them up. That is what keeps me humble.

I know I know. Poooooooor me. That's not at all what I am getting at. I just needed to vent. This is a great avenue to do it.

Im still here. Please... Take me away!

(Thank you Samantha. For being there for me every night, so I dont feel like all hope is gone)


  1. I hear ya. When I was 24, I was my first time out on my own. I was doing a summer lease while I was taking summer classes for school. My finances started to ravel out of control as well. I cried for what felt like everyday. So I can relate. I went back to the dorms for a while, but finally got back out on my own again some time later. I am now 28 and while I will not lie to you and tell you that these sort of issues hold off until you are 30, I will say that they do make you stronger and you start to handle them in a different way. I still have my crying fits, but not as often as I once did. It all has made me a stronger person in alot of ways. I have come to the conclusion that unpleasant things never really stop happening in life, but then there are a lot of good things that happen too. Me...I try to settle my trying times, by sharing how I got through them with others because I feel like that is what life is about for the most. You will get through this! Believe that! I will keep you in my prayers. I said a little one for you today. Keep your head up! :o)

  2. Also, it is not "poor me." I feel that the world that we live in lacks compassion. That is why we always feel so bad about expressing our woes and issues. I vent on my blog too (as you can see). Anyway, keep blogging how you feel. I will too. When I can offer helpful advice or comments I will. Well, stay up! Have a good night!

  3. Well, aren't you completely adorable!

    And life really sucks sometimes. I hope things look up!

    I will be back!